“I know Jesus, and I recognize Paul—but who are you?”
It breaks my heart to know that one of the biggest mission fields in the world, and especially in the west, is the Church.
Folks that profess to be Christians, but bear NO fruit. They speak the name of Jesus but are filled with sin. Their mind has never been renewed, their hearts have never been transformed. They don’t hate sin, they court it. Even welcome it with open arms. They’re comfortable in their sin, because the sinful desires of their hearts are “respectable” or “acceptable” by society.
They do a few “good things” throughout their life, but the desires of their hearts are wicked. They look like the world, sound like the world, and belong to the world.
This was me…
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, drive out demons in your name, and do many miracles in your name?’ Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you lawbreakers!’
Matthew 7:21–23
I was raised in the church my entire life. As a teenager, I basically lived at the church we went to. My family and I were there 4-5 days a week, every week. I knew the songs, I could pray for people, knew some scriptures, and yet I did not know God.
Lust was my best friend, and the co pilot to my lust was my hate for certain people. Hatred to the point of wishing they’d die so I wouldn’t have to deal with them. With lust, I’d undress every woman I found attractive with my eyes. I was addicted to pornography. I objectified women. I was on the worship team targeting the next girl I could fantasize over while standing on stage.
I used my gift of being able to sing to lure women into my circle. It was exciting. It was easy. It was fun. I craved enough of the spotlight to use my gifts as a means of manipulation.
All under the guise of being a Christian…
Be on your guard against false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves. You’ll recognize them by their fruit. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So you’ll recognize them by their fruit.”
Matthew 7:15–20.
Crazy thing… Jesus spoke of people like me. People like me going through the wide gate that leads to destruction. Ravaging wolves doing damage to the Church.
As an adult, I became more of a “nice guy” and an “American Moralist.”
I began to read books from the most popular Christian apologists. I’d attend debates on God’s existence. I genuinely had a desire to know if “what I believed was true.” (I’ll come back to this point…)
I would condemn certain sins, but not my own. I’d hold to “conservative” talking points in a conversation/argument but never lived out the words coming out of my mouth.
My confidence in God’s existence, the truth claims of Christianity, and the historicity of Christ’ work on the cross was unshakable. But it never changed me. I was foolish with this knowledge and used it as a weapon to “demolish strongholds” at my opponents expense. Never once did I have grace. Never once did I have compassion. Never once was I a follower of Jesus.
Now some of the itinerant Jewish exorcists also attempted to pronounce the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, “I command you by the Jesus that Paul preaches!” Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish high priest, were doing this. The evil spirit answered them, “I know Jesus, and I recognize Paul—but who are you?”
Acts 19:13–15.
My sole objective was to win the argument and leave them bleeding out with no hope…
Proving the truth claims of Christianity was for my own vanity. I was lightyears away from EVER wanting to win anyone over to Christ. I simply wanted to win.
Fast Forward October 2023
Our family moves to Texas from Las Vegas and I’m feeling empty. I’m working so much to distract myself from the emptiness. Over the last few years up to this point, God had been softening my heart. It could’ve gone much faster but I’m stubborn.
We found a solid local church and I began to notice that during the time of worship I could feel my emptiness disappearing through the songs being sung. I couldn’t make it through a service without crying because of the void that I felt being filled. God was drawing me to Himself and I couldn’t handle it. Im crying now as I’m writing this haha
The teaching was The Gospel. The message I had known for so long was being presented in such a way that it began to cut me to my core. Along with the affect of the teaching at our local church, Watermark, the algorithm of my Instagram feed began showing me clips from 2819 Church.
I was getting hammered with the Gospel. The conviction was unbelievably overwhelming and yet though I knew I was broken I could feel the peace of God through my tears.
For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12.
During January of 2024 I had a dream that I’ll never forget. My wife, the dreamer of dreams, will tell you that I don’t dream. I sleep hard, I snore hard, and I dream of nothing haha (or at least I don’t remember having any dreams).
But this was different…
The dream consisted of one thing, me traveling FAST downward through a dark tunnel. The further I went, the darker it got. After realizing what was happening in my dream, I began fighting to wake myself up. Fortunately for me I was able to wake myself up but I was immediately overcome by a feeling of conviction.
(NOTE: months later my wife and I were watching NDE videos on YouTube and their stories sounded exactly like my dream… wild!)
You can find the rest of my story here…
But I ask you…
You who says you’re a Christian…
Who are you?
Are you sprinting away from sin in pursuit of obedience as a response to Jesus saving you?
Are you carrying your cross daily?
Are you constantly in repentance?
Are you in prayer?
Are you in God’s word?
Are you bearing fruit?
Or are you allowing sin in your life because “it doesn’t hurt anyone else?” Do you sound like the world? Do you look like the world? Do you desire recognition of the world? Do you cherry pick the scriptures in order to justify your sin?
Do you make the excuse “God knows my heart” thinking that Jeremiah 17:9 doesn’t apply to you? (The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable…)
Satan believes in God…
Satan believes that Jesus died for the salvation of many. Satan believes that God is Holy. Satan knows the difference between sin and righteousness. And yet where is he?
Knowledge does nothing… You must surrender your entire life to Jesus.
It is a heavy commitment that comes with persecution, even up to death. It is not a promise of health, wealth or happiness but that of salvation and the rescue from God’s wrath against your sin. It is you dying to yourself, daily, in order that you may live for the Lord. It is bearing fruit so you may be a witness to a world that desperately needs Jesus.
The evidence of your belief is found within your thoughts, words and deeds. Yes, we will know “them” by their fruit, but you will know yourself by an examination of your own fruit. Otherwise, the final words you’ll hear will be “depart from me, I never knew you.”
Pray that God draws you closer to Him. Repent. Rinse and repeat, daily.
In love,
